Welcome to my blog. Like my life as depicted in Southern Vapors, this blog will not follow a straight line. I have stories saved up that I didn’t put in the book, out-takes from the book, comments on the state of affairs I see in the world around me, and there will be reports on whatever unfolds in the future.
I want this first post to set the tone of all the posts to follow. My mother used to say, “Start how you mean to go on.” I never heard that expression anywhere else and I always liked it. How that translates here is that I mean to be open, honest, forthright and helpful to the best of my ability. If I can inject a little humor, so much the better.
One topic that is alluded to in the book but not carried to its logical conclusion is the shortcomings of the psychiatric community. I have a few astounding stories on that score, some but not all of which are in the book. I have been given a psychiatric diagnosis in absentia by a therapist who was seeing one of my children. He asked me to come in and then had my child explain to me the diagnosis they had come up with by researching my behavior on the Internet. He had never met me before that day. I had a nutritionist ask another child in front of me how she thought my being overweight affected my child’s outlook on her own body image. I was a size 12 at the time. I see a physician at a pscyh clinic every 6 months to check in and get a refill on Klonopin, which I use as a sleeping pill. I could get this prescription from my general practitioner, but I figure with my history, I should keep a hand in with a pscyh clinic of some sort. The last time I went I got quizzed about my alcohol consumption, which is practically nonexistent, and berated for my desire to get an extra few pills for the rare occasion when I want to take an extra half for a better night’s sleep. I was told in no uncertain terms that I would not be given any extra pills and if I ran out, it would be my problem. Apparently there were some big concerns in the physician’s mind about my dependence on this medication and the potential for abuse. I thought that his concerns were misplaced (and offensively expressed), but that he was certainly entitled to his opinion. With all that concern and flailing about, when do you think he asked me to come in for my next appointment? In six months. And I received a full refillable prescription for the entire six months. I almost pointed out the inconsistency, but I wanted my prescription so I kept quiet and walked out.
My point is that anyone with issues of mental health has got to do the best job he or she can to be his or her own advocate. The closer you are to the bottom, the harder this is. In those times, my advice is to get someone whose stability you trust to go with you and give you a reality check on what is being said to you or proposed for your treatment. Do not assume, as I did for decades, that because someone has training and a degree that they know what is best for you.
On the other hand, once you find professional help that you trust, as I have, pay close attention and consider carefully everything they say to you. The good ones have great instincts and even if they say things that don’t seem to fit you initially, give them the benefit of the doubt and consider their proposals.
I plan to post a new message to this blog once a week. In the interim, please join me on the Southern Vapors Facebook page and follow Suzy Marmalade on Twitter.